Posts Tagged ‘Animation’


DOGBAD 26

At the bar in the Dogbad Saloon, Kit McKlaw, Señor Hoss and Señor Hsss consider their prospects.

VIEW IT LARGE!

1. Señor Hoss sees the Debbil in the whiskey bottle and blows a fuse! The mere sight of the diabolic little guy drives him into a Hossy fit. Just when he thought he was finally relieved of his obnoxious presence!

2. They walk through the swinging doors into the Dogbad Saloon. Kit tries to calm Hoss. He throws his arm aroud Señor Hoss’ neck and smiles reassuringly: “Now, Hoss- Quit worryin’!”

3. They belly up to the bar. “Isn’t it better to have him corked up in this little bottle?” asks Kit. “I guess so…” replies Hoss, “better in your pocket than on my backside.”

4. McKlaw hoists a beer and assures Señor Hoss that there is no need for concern so long as they are careful with the Debbil in the bottle: “We’ll just keep an eye on him at all times.”

5. Señor Hsss injects a note of caution. “What if he gets out? What if the bottle breaks?”

6. It’s enough to chill Señor Hoss. “Don’t even THINK about it”, he asserts.

7. Señor Hsss, Señor Hoss and Kit McKlaw eye the pint-sized Debbil with a mixture of apprehension and fascination. Dipple O’Doakus can hear everything they say. He grins and poses inside the bottle. “He IS a cute little devil” observes Señor Hsss. “He’s a darlin’ devil- a DARLIN’ devil!”, agrees McKlaw.

8. “I know”, grumbles Hoss. “That’s the PROBLEM.”


Dogbad 36 – Purple Pee!

Purple Pee

Dogbad 36 – Purple Pee!

1.Señor Hsss is staring from behind a boulder. He flicks his tongue as his snake eyes burn through you.”SSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

2.Señor Hsss is grimacing and straining- streams of purple droplets spray the rock:”SSS…SSSS…SSS!”

3.Señor Hsss has finished peeing on the rock. He is disturbed by what he sees- his urine has turned a bright purple, flecked with gold!

4.He yells to Señor Hoss standing nearby. “HOSS- Lookee here!” Hoss: “I don’t want to look!” Hsss:”NO, listen! Every time I pee-”

5.Hoss interrupts: “YOU, PEE? Snakes pee?” He continues in a sarcastic tone of voice. “I never knew that. Thanks for sharing.” “NO” exclaims Señor Hsss, “Hossy, this is serious.”

6.Hssy continues,”Ever since we came off the mountain for the last couple of days I’ve been peeing PURPLE… with little gold flecks”. His concern is evident.

7.Señor Hoss stands silently regarding this development. Señor Hsss is worried- he looks up at Señor Hoss, hoping his equine friend will proffer some good solution.

8.Señor Hoss has a sudden Eureka: “Lets head for the ASSAY OFFICE!”


Dogbad 42

Locked in the Outhouse

Dogbad 42 –
“How am I going to get out of here?”

1.Señor Hsss has been locked in an outhouse by Mister Wurlitzer the Dogbad town Assayer. Mr Wurlitzer has identified a high content of native gold in Señor Hsss’ urine sample and he won’t let him out until he fills a ten-gallon jug with the precious fluid.

2.Señor Hsss looks for a way out. He sees the decorative moon-shaped hole cut in the upper door: “Looks like that little opening is the only way out”, he says to himself.

3.He looks back at one of the holes cut in the wooden seat, and the squadron of flies hovering above it: “Unless-” “NO- I’m not that desperate.” It’s not a difficult decision.

4.Hissy begins to try to work his way through the small opening in the door, nose first: “Here goes nuttin’- NNGH! ANGH! EYEHH… AF-! UF-!” It hurts.

5.He succeeds in squeezing his head through the little crescent hole, sombrero and all (not shown, of course), but can move no further. He panics. “GRAWWLG!” “I’M STUCK!” “Ennn!!” “Enn-!” “Eeenngg!” “Uhh…” Señor Hsss knows full well how rediculous he must look from the outside. He’s got to extricate himself before anybody sees him. What if Michael McClure were to walk by and hear him?

6.Señor Hsss pulls and tugs with all his might. Suddenly he crashes free with a loud “PUT!” and bounces his head painfully off the back wall of the privy.

7.He regards his nose, throbbing with pain and moulded into the shape of the wooden hole. “It’s no use.”, he sighs to no one in particular. Then he remembers, there is another possibility- the “third wall”!

8.Señor Hsss turns and faces you, the reader and earnestly appeals for help: “Can anyone out there reach the JPEG settings?”.

TAGS: alternative, animals, Animation, arizona, Cartoons, Catfish Rushdie, Charlie Sheen, Comics, Dogbad, drug testing, flying, Funny Animals, gold bullion, independent, original art, out house, outhouse, outhouses, pets, psychedelic, rattlesnakes, robert steinhilber, satire, señor Hsss, Snakes, the third wall, underground, urinalysis, web comic, Western


Dogbad 43

Trajectory is my middle name!

Dogbad 43 – “I must be higher than Charlie Sheen!”

1.Señor Hsss remains locked inside the outhouse (see episode 16). He’s tried everything he could to get out. There’s a small crescent-shaped air hole in the locked door. He’s much too large to fit through the hole in the door; he only hurt his nose when he tried. Suddenly Hsss conceives a desperate gambit: if he receives enough JPEG COMPRESSION, maybe, just maybe, hecan squeeze through that hole! He turns toward the readers: “Did you locate the jpeg settings? See where it says “IMAGE OPTIONS”- PULL IT TO THE LEFT TO ABOUT ’6′.

2.Señor Hsss gets compressed- he’s gone all fuzzy. “THERE- That’s more like it!”

3.”Here goes!” Hsss takes aim and leaps at the small sliver of blue shining through the hole. “P-P-H-P-P-H-PP-PP-H-T-T-t-T-t-T-T-t-t-t!!” He hits the door hard.

4.”NGNGN!! NNNN!” Señor Hsss has managed to squeeze about halfway through. “I- NEED- MORE- COMPRESSION!”

5.Hsss sags in exaustion: “OWwwLLrrRAaghhu….,” he moans,”It’s still not enough.” Again he appeals to someone, anyone who is reading this strip.”Take her down to ’1′.”

6.He pulls again with all his might. “POP”- Suddenly, he is sailing through the sky above the town!

7.Señor Hsss soars through the air above the town of Dogbad! “WHEE! Trajectory is my middle name! I must be higher than Charlie Sheen!”


45

Dogbad 45

Dogbad 45 – Meet Mister Duckbutter

1. Señor Hsss is rattling with excitement over the unexpected sight of his serpent-guru, the Snake Shaman. “We’ve got to see the Shaman- He’ll help us! He knoes EVERYTHING!” “Oh, really?”, replies Kit McKlaw. Kit’s not so sure. He’s had dealings with the Shaman once before, and regards him as little more than a cranky old fool who’s spent too much time in the sun. Hoss is ambivalent, and looks askance. The Debbil just looks.

2. Señor Hoss speaks his equine mind: “I do not share your abiding faith in that shaggy shamanist, my serpent friend, but I’m game for anything if it will remove this unsightly blemish.” He points his hoof at the execrable attachment on his back, and the Debbil responds with a razzle-berry in Hoss’s direction. How could an entity so old act so immature?

3. The contradistinctive quartet approaches the front entrance to the Golden Derivative Guarenteed Safe Gambling Casino. The polished, oversized double doors are guarded by a thin, over-dressed doorman. An obnoxiously obsequious creature, one Mister Herschel Duckbutter, snaps to attention and robotically dribbles out what is perhaps the slimiest expression in contemporary language: “May I help you?” “Yes-” replies Señor Hsss, “We’re meeting someone” continues Hoss, “Inside” finishes McKlaw.

4. Mister Duckbutter gleefully recites his well-rehearsed, opprobrious address: “I’m terribly sorry, sirs- we DO have a dress code for the gentlemen. Please feel free to visit our website for full details.”

5. Our boys do not resond well to this approach. “Why that prissy little high-toned jimcrack-!” seethes Hsss. “I’d like to stomp his girlfriend’s pet gerbil. We’re ten times badder than this phony fag bar.” “Cool your scales, Hissy-” replies Kit, “we’ll show ’em OUR dress code.” McKlaw has no time for gerbils. Neither of them have a moment to waste trying to imagine what a Duckbutter’s girlfriend would look like, if he had one.

6. Kit and Hsss step around back of the building where a steady traffic of workers and over-loaded linen trolleys move in and out of the hotel’s steamy laundry complex. “There are other ways to gain entry” notes Kit McKlaw.

7. Inside the casino, upstairs, a dangerous looking pair of serpent gunsels guards the door of a private room, in which a high-stakes poker game is about to be underway.

8. At the head of the table sits the smiling Snake Shaman, his girl on his arm as he proffers a fresh deck of cards to his off-camera opponent: “Here- you deal.”


Dogbad 51- Au Revoir, Mr Snake Shaman

Au Revoir, Mr Snake Shaman

Dogbad 51 – The Snake Shaman kicks our friends out onto The Street

1. The Snake Shaman finally rises from his seat to firmly but politely explains to McKlaw, Señor Hoss and Señor Hsss that they must leave, and pronto.The three stand mute, like chasened children. “Now that’s settled”, the Shaman entreats, “will you all please exit quietly and allow mw to find my friends so we can resume our card game?”

2. McKlaw and the two Señors retreat back onto the street. It is now dark, past ten o’clock. Kit is philosophical, as usual: “Maybe we should all just go along and enjoy ourselves… the evening’s still young.” “That’s easy for you to say”, grumbles Señor Hoss.

3. Hoss is mired in doubt about what it all means. “I still don’t get it. None of it adds up.” Señor Hsss feels happier, convinced that the mysterious sage has not only relieved their annoying condition, but imparted a deep life-lesson to them in the process. “He’s right though-” says Hiss emphatically, “the Shaman…”

4. “Snakes DON’T pee”, he warbles, eyes heavenward.

5. “Be that as it may”, interrupts McKlaw, “why don’t we just mosey on up and drink about it a while?” Kit alludes to the immediate proximity of the Dogbad Saloon, which is currently open for business as usual. “You got any money?”, asks Señor Hsss.

6. Kit reaches deep into his side vest-pocket, feeling something of weight inside. “I think so”, he replies.

7. McKlaw hefts something inside the pocket that he doesn’t remember putting there. He pulls it out and gazes at what he now has in his hand- a green glass pint liquor bottle with something inside that’s definitely not liquor! “What’s THIS?” he asks aloud.

8. The bottle lets off an eerie glow and feels uncomfortably warm to the touch. Corked there inside the bottle, peering back at the world into the eyes of the very same three undocumented cartoon characters who thought they’d seen the last of him, they see the crouching figure of Dipple-O-Doakus, the Debbil himself!