Archive for November, 2011


The Mysterious Stranger and his Travelling Serpents

VIEW IT AS A SLIDE SHOW!

1.Kit’s a friendly fellow. He hails the man with the stick and the stone tablet. Remembering that sticks and stones can’t hurt him, (or something like that), he inquires as to the Shaman’s business.
Suicide Cat eyes the stranger with evident suspicion.
2.The Shaman wheels and pronounces something in an unfamiliar tongue- his bescaled entourage project a menacingly choreographed glare at the unprepared felines
3.McKlaw tries to understand; Suicide tries to bluff his way with an air of disdain.
4.He points down the street to a local gambling establishment.
5.McKlaw tries to help; Suicide is snotty.
6.The old Wizard loses patience with such impertinence.
7.The Shaman is an important guy, not to be trifled with. He is nobody’s sweetheart and he tells them so.
8.Kit McKlaw is taken aback by the Old Man’s outburst. With no idea what this geezer was on about, he is unsure what to think.
Suicide also doesn’t know what to think, but doesn’t care either.
There is nothing he can do about it, and he has no choice but to forget it. Within minutes both cats are snoring.


Senor Hoss & Senor Hsss

VIEW IT AS A SLIDE SHOW!

1.Senor Hoss and Senor Hsss while away the workday drinking in the Dogbad Saloon.
Senor Hoss has imbibed to the point where he feels comfortable enough to pose a
question that has been bothering his fine equine mind:
“Senor Hsss, ken I ask you a personal question?”
Senor Hsss: “Shoot.”

2.Senor Hoss take this literally and, out of thin air, produces his faithful blunderbus
(named WOOLY BULLY). In a nano-instant he has squeezed Wooly Bully’s trigger and Wooly
Bully exclaims:”BLAM!”

3.The concussion sent Senor Hsss’ sombrero spinning as he ducked to avoid the shot.
Sr Hsss glares at Senor Hoss:”I speckted you’d do that.”
Sr Hoss laughs: “I speckted you would!”

4.Sr Hsss recovers his composure and re-arranges his sombrero.
Sr Hsss: “Go ahead- ask your question.”

5.Senor Hoss puts it blunt: “What’s up with that new cult you joined?”

6.Senor Hsss blows it top at this: “CULT?” “Do you refer to the SOCRATIC CIRCLE of the
SNAKE SHAMAN?”

7.Senor Hsss is so digusted with Senor Hoss’ characterization of his club as a “cult”,
his first instinct is to display an air of pretentious arrogance, and faux-sympathetic
patrionization: “Pas du tout! I am sorry for you my friend. Really, I am. I see now that
your peculiarly personal species of gross philistine ignorance stems from depths even
darker than I had imagined.”


Drop-Kicked Out Of Dogbad

VIEW IT LARGE!

1. Interior: Dogbad Saloon in the late afternoon.
Here we meet the Saloon Landlord, former Olympian bronze medalist
Theodore Simon Alvin David “Discus Ted” O’Neil. Discus Ted wastes
no words in simultaneously describing his mood and his moniker:
“I am Discus Ted. You are scaring my patrons.” These remarks are
directed on the endeaffened ears of Señors Hsss and Hoss, who have
lowered their consciousness by toasting and drinking each other
into a solemn stupor.
2. Having partook Discus Ted’s micro-brewing, Hsss & Hoss
experience his macro-bouncing. This isn’t the first time he’s
drop-kicked them both out, and it won’t likely be the last.
3. Refuse is hurled to underline the point.
4. Hsss & Hoss consider the awakening a coarse one.
Hsss: “Talk about non grata!” Hoss: “How, very, very rude!”
5. Señor Hsss examines his soiled and crushed sombrero.
He sees right away it will require expensive re-blocking.
What an inconvenience! He may have to send it abroad.
What will he wear? It’s the only hat he’s got.
Señor Hoss asks: “Where to now?” It’s getting late.
6. It doesn’t take Hsssy long to think of a plan:
“Less goap the mountain and wash the sun sit!”
7. Hoss thinks this is a Boney Day and says so. Pleased with
his idea, Señor Hsss congratulates himself: “Farm Edible!”
8. The sum is sitting in the distant maghreb, but it may as well
sit right on top of Señors Hsss and Hoss as they pass beyond
the town’s outer limits. If they notice the notice posted by Dogbad
Sheriff D D Divtag, we don’t notice:
“DON’T LET THE SUN SET ON YOU HERE, REPTILE.”


“Give the Anarchist a Segar!”

VIEW IT LARGE!

1.Señor Hsss and Señor Hoss have hit the road- observe how the road will hit them back.
They are going to hike up the mountain to see the sunset, but the sun has the jump on
them- it set before they got very far past the town limit.
Hoss is eager to shed his role as a socially-acceptable quadruped, and announces his
intention as soon as the pair are out of earshot of any Dogbad Town dogs.
“I suppose we’re out of town far enough.”

2.Hoss stretches his back and stands up on his hind legs without missing a beat:
“UuhhooOoEeee! Uzzat feel GOOD!”

3.Señor Hsss and Señor Hoss walk on. Señor Hoss: “I am SO tired of walking on all fours.”

4.Hoss unloads his frustrations: “All my friends know I’m bipedal… those town dogs don’t get it.”

5.Hoss: “Just TRY to stand up and walk on your own two feet- just TRY.”

6.Señor Hoss continues: “Them town-dogs look at you like you’re some kind of…”
7. “…ANARCHIST!”
8. Señor Hsss has a surprise in store for his pal: “Wall then, give the anarchist a SEGAR!”